A dog of many names

My dog's name is Oscar. Before that, when he was behind bars at the humane society, his name was Luther. Before that, until he got picked up as a stray, his name was probably Bowser or Rex. But now his name is Oscar...sometimes. We call him a lot of things. Here are the names that come to mind...

Oskie
The Black Sausage
Princess Penelope the Tranny
Laura Ingalls
Fartbag
Stinkwad
Yoctif
Yoctif Guacamole Pants
Wiggle Butt
Black doggy dog doggy dog doggy doggy (you have to say it as fast as you can)
Turd Ferguson, Jr.
Honkus
Babalou
Snooter
Oscar P. Mayer
The Grump
Weiner Dog
Grumbles
Pat Sajak
Flapjacks
My Nigga Q (from a DMX song)
BLACKIE! (you have to yell it)
Turd Burglar
Turd Bomber
Fuzzy Bumper
Shrimpie
Cap'n Shrimp Pants
Hound of Baskerville
Scooter McGavin

And, of course...
Pants
Panits
Panananits
Oscar Pants MacDougall-beiss
Panteus the Black
O. Pants Shyamalan
Pannity and Colmes
Pants pantsy pants pantsy pants pantsy pantsy (again, as fast as you can)
Pants de la Hoya
Jazz Pants (when he's all jazzed up)
Snow Pants (after a romp in the snow)

That's just the 40 that I could think of off the top of my head. I'm sure there are four or five more. Does this automatically mean that our child will be screwed up? I hope not, but I think so.

Coolest ultrasound picture ever

We went for our second fetal ultrasound today, on the first day of Week 18 of pregnancy. It was amazing to see everything. We could see every bone - spinal column, arms, legs, skull, eye sockets, sacrum, hands and feet. We got to see all parts of the brain - cerebellum, cerebral hemispheres, ventricles (I felt like I was in neuroanatomy again, looking at slides). There were internal organs - heart, kidneys, stomach, bladder, and I think I saw the liver. Fortunately, we weren't capable of determining the sex yet. I don't want to know, and Michaelene thinks she does. But the baby wouldn't cooperate enough to get into a good gender-deciphering position. We saw some wiggling, a lot of curling up in the fetal position, some arm-flailing, and at one point the baby was reclined with one leg kicked up in the air. And then, saving the best for last...just as we were about to end the session, the sonographer took one last look at the left arm and the baby gave us a thumbs-up, then waved goodbye.

Word...

Sometimes Greg doesn't have good ideas

Today I ran in Johnny's Irish Pub's "Run Like Hell" 5K race. It's a fundraiser for cystic fibrosis that they've done each of the past 10 years. They do it around Halloween and encourage people to run in costume. Prizes are given for individual costumes, as well as team costumes. Some of the winners this year were Hugh Hefner and his Playboy bunnies, a chain gang of five that actually ran the whole race tied together with their hands behind their backs, and a guy that ran the entire race in a Darth Vader mask (may the sweat be with you). Greg, Charity, and I ran together, and thought for a couple weeks about what our team costumes should be. Some of our ideas were Mario, Luigi, and Princess Toadstool; Castro, Ahmadinejad, and Kim Jong Il; and the Blue Man Group. I thought Blue Man Group would've worked well - basically black sweatsuits with blue face paint. But in the end Greg was deadset on running as the "office staff," with the three of us wearing suits to run. We went to Goodwill the night before to pick our suits. We all found gray suits, and I wore a pink shirt and tie under mine. I could sense the oncoming disaster as I paid $14 for my Johnny Carson special. I sweat a lot wearing shorts and no shirt. So you can imagine me wearing a tie around my neck and three layers, the top of which is entirely non-breathable. I felt some hope the morning of the race. It was overcast and in the low 50's, raining off and on. But sure enough, by race time, the sun came out and the temperature was in the 60's. Most other people were in costume, but wearing something reasonable for running. As we ran the 5K together, bystanders would see us and laugh at our costumes, like they did with everyone else. But there was always some comment following the laugh, remarking at how bad of an idea it must be to run 3.12 miles in a suit. I agree. By the end, I smelled like an awful combination of old, musty library books and a sweaty gym sock. Here are some before and after pictures.

The threat to secularism

I don't know if anyone even reads this anymore, but that's immaterial. As I wrote in one of my first posts on here, this is more for my own catharsis, and hopefully someone else will read it too and maybe get something out of it.

I find myself compelled to pass along something I've read recently, which hopefully helps to combat and shut up a sector of the population which I find it difficult to believe is growing larger, but perhaps only growing louder. It's not a new phenomenon, but likely a magnified one in this post-9/11 era. The Religious Right's hijacking of our government seems to me to be the end of a truly free society. While using propaganda to spread their message of hate, bigotry, misogyny, and racism (among other great ideas), they have infiltrated the ranks of government in the form of our illegitimate president. They continue to buy votes favorable to their twisted cause with huge campaign contributions, all the while guaranteed of preserving this buying power through (1) tax-exempt status as a charitable and not-for-profit organization and (2) "faith-based initiatives." Government handouts to rich white men, while their Republican delegation in government steadfastly oppose welfare and social programs to help those in actual need. Oral Roberts, televangelist, once proclaimed on air that God would kill him unless he raised $8 million. And the sheep fell for it and paid it to him. $8 million, tax-free.

And while we are legally a secular society, protected by the separation of church and state, the Religious Right claims that we are a Christian nation, founded by Christian men on Christian ideals. They use this to further push their agenda of xenophobia. This is the part I felt compelled to type out and pass on, several statements by our Founding Fathers (many believed to actually be deist, agnostic, or even atheist):

"Christianity is the most perverted system that ever shone on man" - Thomas Jefferson

"During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity; in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution." - James Madison

"Lighthouses are more useful than churches." - Benjamin Franklin

"This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it." - John Adams

And in 1797, in Article 11 of our treaty with Tripoli, written under George Washington, signed by John Adams, and unanimously approved by Congress: "As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Mussulmen; and, as the said States never entered into any war, or act of hostility against any Mahometan nation, it is declared by the parties, that no pretext arising from religious opinions, shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries."

And in conclusion, one of my favorite quotes of all time:

“If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion.” ~Edmond de Goncourt, 19th century French writer

North Country Nicknames

This summer Michaelene and I stayed for a week with my parents up on Chateaugay Lake. It was her first true visit to the lake, with the exception of one boat ride four years ago. I got to see and do just about everything I'd put on my 'To do' list before leaving. We took the canoe out (with Oscar aboard) to picnic on the island. I took the kayak up the South Inlet and Owlyout Creek as far as I could go. I went fishing with my dad and also went out to see the Indian burial mounds I'd been told about. We also went up to visit my Aunt Maggie and to see her horses. While there, Michaelene pointed out something that I guess I'd never really noticed: the fact that almost everybody in the North Country has a nickname. I started thinking about it, and she was right. (Although, the only real nickname I've ever had was given to me at college in Ithaca) So I decided to sit down and make a list of all the nicknames I could think of. Between my father and me, this is what we came up with:

Family members (12):
Uncle Bubby
Uncle Tiny Gilmore
Aunt Huldy Gilmore
Aunt Tootsie
Dooger
Frog
Poncho
Rib Pageau
Buddy Pageau
Red Perreault
Wedge Trombley
Wheels

People I went to school with (36):
Buddy
Beaver
Pecker
Wheels
Fudd
Flash Bosley
Pudge
Iggy Yanulavich
Chickenhead
Poundcake
Bushwhacker
Hambone
Buckshot
Gebo (it's not his name)
Jonas Magee (also not his name)
Guido
Skeeter
Skippy
Popa
Beavis
Psycho
Pickles
Mini Robare
Chester
Choo LaClair
Choo choo Forkey
Filbert
Bubblehead
Booger
Tank
Willow
Half pint
Boots
Wheezy
Tiny
Chia

Other people (40):
Vess Pivetta
Slavin Chase
Zippy
Peanut
Bighead
Toto
Bear
Wacker
Bonhomme
Birddog
Snake
Gump
Plink Terasavich
Frenchie Martin
Flip Brunell
Prune Brunell
Nubby O'Connell
Crusher O'Connell
Duck Manor
Crow Manor
Goose Manor
Crab Abbott
Skeeter Thompson
Jumbo Sorrell
Chewie Sorrell
Bimbo Woods
Pecor Bessett
Frenchie Siskavich
Duke Chase
Porky Bingel
Henny Penny Chase
Bugs Chase
Bubbick Golovach
Huck Chase
Hoss Manor
Pip LaFountain
Jungle Jim Lacey
P-eye Perry
Foxy Gagnon
Goose Gagnon


Those were just the ones we could come up with, without thinking too hard. There are probably more that we've missed, but that's 88 so far. Keep in mind that the combined population of Ellenburg, Lyon Mountain, and Altona, where most of these people live(d), is only about 5,000 people.